29 Dec 2011
06:00:00

Are you good at sharing?

I always assumed that issues with sharing were the preserve of only children - those who never had to share anything, be it toys, sweets, or their parents' attention. Turns out I was wrong!

How good are you at sharing, really? I recently discovered (scratch that: I was recently rather unceremoniously informed) that I am "the worst sharer in the world". Impossible! I grew up in a large family with three older sisters, where everything (everything!) was shared out with absolute precision.

From birthday cake to boxes of Smarties to roast potatoes and Creme Soda, whenever there was something coveted and delicious to be enjoyed, it was portioned out so that everyone had their fair share and everyone was happy.

If there were leftovers, those were divided up equally too and nobody had seconds before this was worked out. Such measures are necessary to keep the peace in a big family.

So how can I possibly be bad at sharing?

Surely, surely, then, if I measured out the last little bit of wine in the bottle so that there was exactly the same amount of the good stuff in each of our glasses, you wouldn't think that the guy I was seeing at the time would declare me to be "terrible at sharing" when I cringed ever so slightly upon his taking a big glug out of my glass (having already finished his own).

Doesn't that seem unreasonable to you? Doesn't that just make him greedy, rather than me being a poor sharer? No?

Come to think of it, he might have a point

I remember being horrified when my sister hosted a dinner party in her first year of university, and one of her friends just went in for a second helping of pudding.

DIDN'T SHE KNOW THE RULES? No one else seemed even slightly perturbed though, and upon reflection, I see that there is quite a big difference between being comfortable with sharing things out and sticking to your own share, and having the generosity of spirit to share your own share with another. 

Nobody enjoys a dinner party where they feel like they can't dish up a bit more, and as the hostess, one should feel honoured that guests like the meal enough to want seconds. 

Metaphor for life?

I read somewhere ages ago that it's much easier to give away a whole batch of cookies when you have 100, than to give away one when you have two. The true spirit of sharing, of generosity, is being generous with what you have when you don't have a lot of it. I remind myself of this often - because really, that extra cookie (or sip of wine) is a lot more valuable when you give it to someone else, than when you save it for yourself.

I'm going to try to begin my new year with this awareness and to be more generous with my time, my energy...and even my wine.