16 Jan 2012
10:52:00

Confessions of a lazy mother

Musings from a mom who finds parenting the hardest job she's ever done - possibly because she lacks the energy required to do it properly...

I will confess: I was one of those mothers who let her toddler sleep from 2-5 in the afternoons so that she could read her book in peace. And then had to act surprised when her husband wondered why the little angel was still wide awake and jumping on the furniture at 9pm...

A recent caravanning trip was a holiday in hell

Now that our daughter is older (and sadly no longer naps in the afternoons), we decided to buy a caravan, with relaxing, laid-back trips to the coast in mind. My husband and I were going to laze about in deck chairs, sipping white wine spritzers (me) while reading fat novels or gazing at the gently lapping ocean, while Emily played with the children on the neighbouring camp sites.

Huh! Camping is not for the bone idle, as I soon discovered

If you are one of those moms like me (and I KNOW there are more of you out there), toilet trips and bedtimes are enough of a nightmare without having to do it all from a caravan.

It took us years to get Emily to sleep through without waking more than once (on average) to go to the toilet. We're finally at the stage where we don't have to deprive her of all fluids after 5pm, and there are many nights when she doesn't wake for the loo at all.

But the excitement of camping seemed to have a diuretic effect on her bladder

After putting up the tent in 33 degree heat, unpacking groceries and clothes and falling into bed exhausted, I was woken an hour later by a little voice saying "Mommy I need the toilet".

Now I may be lazy, but I'm not such a useless and callous mom that I'd force my little girl to make the trek up the path and round the corner and up a hill to the public ablution block all alone.

So up we got and off we went. I forced myself to squeeze a wee too, as I didn't fancy another interruption of my precious sleep again that night.

Ha ha! God has a sense of humour it seems. Perhaps this trip was payback for all the times I pretended not to hear her so that her dad could take her to the loo at night.

She woke three MORE times that night - and as the communal bathrooms are segregated and not unisex like those lovely family bathrooms at the newer malls - it was my job to stumble up the hill every hour (that's what it felt like anyway) that night. Or at least each time I fell into a deep sleep again.

Not unlike Japanese drip torture...

Advice for those contemplating a camping holiday: wait until your children are old enough to go to the bathroom alone. Or keep them in nappies until they are!