13 Jun 2012
16:16:00

Timing is everything

Everything happens at the right time, date and place, or so Indian astrology would have us believe. Choosing a wedding date comes down to much more than "I want to be a winter bride".

Oh yes, it's true: there are a million factors to consider before you tie the knot - the most important being the date you choose.

It all stems from that one minor detail

Let's face it, until you've set a wedding date there's not really much you can do. No date = no venue booking = no catering booking = no ideas on the weather = no idea at all! So it's probably the smartest place to start when deciding to plan your big day.

Unfortunately it all boils down to more than what you'd like to do for an Indian bride-to-be

I had it all mapped out - we'd get married on 23 March, 2013. It would be perfect! Not too hot (especially with Durban's humidity), not too busy (so most of our relatives would be able to make it) and most importantly, surrounded by amazing public holidays. I'd have my mendhi ceremony on Thursday the 21st, a public holiday, we'd get married on the Saturday and then go off on honeymoon. A honeymoon that would have an entire Easter weekend in it. Fabulous right? Wrong!

Sometimes you don't get the luxury of what you want when you want it

Before a Hindu couple gets married they need to consult "the book" or rather the person with the book - the pundit. Learned and wise, the pundit is well versed in Indian astrology and spends many a day finding favourable and suitable dates and times for people to make big changes to their lives.

The idea behind this is that if you start something off at a favourable time, it will be blessed

Starting things off on a good note? While some may think it's archaic or superstitious, it's treated quite scientifically and makes a lot of sense. Everything in life (including your birth) is not an accident. It's all controlled by fate so when considering a big decision like buying a new home or car or getting married, you start at your birthdate and work from there.

To cut a long story short, my March 23rd plan has gone awry

Turns out it falls within two of the most inauspicious periods of the year. So we've been told to get married on 28 April, 2013. And at least my original afternoon wedding time stays intact. Thank goodness too - I had visions of getting up at the crack of dawn to look presentable rather than dream-bride like! 

At least now I have a month extra to plan!

You know what they say: everything happens for a reason and all in good time - definitely true!

28 Feb 2012
08:01:00

He liked it, so he put a ring on it!

Ahh music -- catchy, uplifting and oh-so-misleading! Take Beyonce's 'Single Ladies' for instance, it lets you believe that if you like it then you should put a ring on it and bham, the woman is yours. Not quite if you're a traditional Indian gal.

Most definitely not! You get the other-end of the spectrum: parental approval and familial bonding. How on earth does that work, you wonder? Well it’s simple really!

Think Meet the Parents meets Meet the Fockers

Yes, I know that's a whole lot of meeting, but alas it’s true. It goes something a little like this: boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy dates girl and is mesmerised (sigh), they fall in love and are set to live happily ever after, but there's the whole parent-meeting scenario to contend with. So what takes place is termed 'the proposal'. 

Before you get carried away by romantic notions involving wining, dining and bended knees

The traditional Indian proposal is NOTHING like this! It’s more like a glorified tea party – sometimes with extended family in tow. The girl gets all dressed up (so his family can marvel at her beauty) and the guy's family comes over for tea. They bring a couple of presents, everyone meets, they play 20 questions and phase one is done. 

Phase two is pretty much the same, except the girl's family heads over to the guy's house with their presents. Hey presto, instant family union. If all goes well, there’s a little chat about marriage.

If you’re lucky you get the best of both worlds

The traditional proposal AND the wonderful, romantic proposal with just the two of you. After all, every woman deserves a little bit of bling for her ring finger and the right to say 'he liked it so he put a ring on it'!

So I got my traditional proposal and the romantic 'you complete' me speech that we all dream of, and the right to say 'he liked it, so he put a ring on it'.

Until next time, I'm off to admire the sparkle of my ring!