Blogs
14 May 2012
07:09:00
Starting Monday: Part II
The scary thing about a diet is that nature will not let you trick your body. Sure, you can lose the weight but in the 1600s even a skinny Brit named Isaac Newton once said that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Of course he was not referring to drastic diet shifts, but then again, perhaps he was. After all, weight is indeed always somehow linked to motion and the old scientist did in fact refer to forces acting on “a body”.
My point is that the crash diets women sign up for are dangerous to say the least
And most certainly the one that starts on a Monday with the expectation of results on Wednesday morning for coffee with the girls. I know of several people (mostly women), and including myself, who ended up in a hospital bed following major dietary changes.
Even people opting for a gastric bypass end up with severe health and emotional issues. Emotional issues that outweigh (yes, pun) the emotional slump of being fat.
What I have noticed is that a good diet will increase the amount that a woman reads
The small print on every item of food packaging suddenly becomes a bestseller. Glycaemic carbs, folic acids, riboflavins and trans fats all suddenly become very important. A good scientist would struggle to offer complete clarity on these but a woman on a diet just knows.
The fact is, the woman’s diet rule of thumb says that the lower the number printed alongside these mysterious ingredients the better. It’s as simple as that.
Some women manage to find perfect balance, and a break in their diet will be met by a ‘guilt-run’ or a trip to the gym for a solid workout. The lighter side of this is that the exercise somehow deceives the brain into believing that the workout session has then earned her the right to a bucket of the Colonel’s secret recipe.
With a goal weight in sight, this can reduce her to drastic measures such as weight-loss soaps (I’ve seen them myself), The HCG diet (which involves ingesting the urine of pregnant women), the egg diet (a real stinker) and of course, finally googling “Oprah”.
The most common instigator of a crash diet is just four little words
A woman hears them and whether she is tipping the scales or happens to be Skinny Sue herself, she is already planning her diet ‘starting Monday’.
“Will you marry me” may as well mean “time to lock up the fridge and turn into a crazy person”. I suppose some husbands out there wish they could propose every six months…
The sad thing is that the cutting of the wedding cake not only symbolises a union, but the end of that precious diet too
The bitter irony is that it’s us men who force you to eat it. Perhaps that too is symbolic… One “I do” and we men drive you mad for eternity, forcing you to seek comfort in all things sweet.
And before I forget, I need to offer some clarity on the subject of “Lite” alcohol
Ladies, the wine and Savannah are “Lite” in alcohol and seldom in sugar and fat. The alcohol people and the margarine people don’t get together much and it turns out they have differing values. So whilst you believe you can drink more without piling on the pounds, you are in fact just getting less drunk. I’ll leave you to do the math on what you are gaining.
So, by all means, start your diet on a Monday. Any Monday at all
Try the South Beach diet, the Soup diet, the Atkins diet. Even the Dukan diet if you must. Just be sure to do it smartly. Seek encouragement from all the girls at coffee on Wednesday but please, please let skinny Sue have her chocolate cake. She probably needs it anyway!l
11 May 2012
00:48:00
Busted. Disgusted. Never to be trusted...
Face it. People cheat...
Before I write my bleat for today, please be warned that it WILL upset some of you. If you are a die hard romantic you should probably stop reading now. Just keep those rose tinted goggles on and carry on with your day.
If you are open-minded and can read something like this without getting all uppity, please read on.
Let me start by asking you this - have you ever been cheated on? How many women do you know who have been cheated on?
I am one of the women who has been cheated on. Every single woman I know has been cheated on. It doesn't matter if you are rich or poor, black or white... cheating is a nasty beast that breaks thousands of hearts daily. Nobody is safe!
Women cheat too - I know this. A lot of the time though I find that the reason women cheat on their partner's because they are not getting what they need on an emotional or spiritual level from their man. Men don't need a reason - they just need a place.
I happen to be of the opinion that you are rather silly if you think that your partner has never cheated on you OR that he never will...
Trust me darling - he will! It might be sooner it might only be later but you can rest assured he has already thought about it a couple of times. Sometimes it is the man who seems like he would never do anything wrong who is the biggest culprit. I know of plenty of people who think that their lives are just peachy, meanwhile back at the ranch their husband or wife is getting jiggy with it all over town.
Round about now your blood is probably boiling reading this. You are thinking "This woman is just jaded because of her bad experiences".... "My man is different".... "I can't believe she is being so negative".... "Not all men are the same".... "I make sure my man is taken care of so he will never look anywhere else" bllllaaaaaa blaaaaa blaaaaa, lady, catch a wake up!
Men are like kids...
When they want a new toy - they cannot stop thinking about it, talking about it, dreaming about it. When they eventually get their hands on the toy they are beyond happy. The toy will bath with them, eat with them, they can't sleep unless the toy is tucked in with them, it will go in the car, to the shops... the whole shebang. But here is the thing... guess what happens at the shops? There are new toys! More shiny, more fancy.. they can do better tricks, can be controlled more easily. Immediately the toy in hand seems less appealing. Sure, it is still fun to play with, looking at it can still bring a smile. You can buy gadgets that go with it and it will be more fun - for a moment or two but... oh man... the ones at the shop look so cool! And so the cycle goes.
Once a man has had you - that is it for them. Game over in a way. Some will "play" with you long enough for them to fall in love with you but LOVE is not enough to guarantee that they will not need to "play" with other women. You can buy sexy outfits, go to the gym - do whatever you like - it will NOT stop him from thinking or lusting after other women.
I am starting to wonder if it is "normal" to be with the same person for your whole life. It is like eating the exact same meal every day for 30+ years. Flipping scary. I mean I love macaroni and cheese like there is no tomorrow, but could I eat it every.single day for the rest of my life? Hell no!!
I think that IF (huge emphasis on if) I ever get married my vows will read something like this...
"I take you, my imperfect partner to be my husband. To have and to hold until either of us gets bored and wants to have and hold someone else. To love and to cherish you with all I have for as long as I can... except when you are doing that really annoyoing thing with your ear or when you come home drunk at 5 a.m. I will give you medicine when you are sick or drive you to the doctor - if you whine too much, I will be at my mother's until you are better. I will honour you as often as possible. If you are really stuck on the obey part - let's get you a dog. Honey... let's make the most of this imperfect union as best as two imperfect beings can in an imperfect world. When the ride is over, let us look back with a smile and know that we made our time together worthwhile."
Call me jaded. Call me a bitch. Call me anything you want. I call it being realistic... smelling the coffee... waking up to and accepting what this world and life is all about.
The other day a friend told me she thought I was delusional... I nearly fell off my unicorn!
08 May 2012
11:46:00
What I learnt from my mother
They say that only the good die young. My mother was one of the most special people I have ever known, and probably will ever know.
She was the woman everyone loved; whether they had known her for a second or for years; my mom would touch everybody's heart.
She had an aura about her like no other; she was calming, intuitive and so giving of herself that she would forget about herself.
You see, my mom gave until she had nothing left to give
She lived every day for every one else and not a single day for herself.
The day after she died, I remember saying to myself: “If I could be half the woman that she was, I would have accomplished something good.” But in hindsight I have come to realise that perhaps the true accomplishment would be to become the woman who achieves the right balance – a balance between giving of herself and giving to herself.
From a very young age my mom taught me to do unto others as I would have them do unto me; that forgiveness is letting go; and that patience is a virtue.
One could say that these teachings are precisely what my mother was
She had the utmost patience for everyone, was forever loyal and always forgiving no matter how severe the crime. All admirable and rare qualities in a human being. But where does one draw the line? When do we say to those around us “I love you, but it's time for me now,” or “You know what, it's not okay and I won't let you treat me like that?"
As women, we are genetically engineered with an instinct for nurturing; an instinct for tending to those around us before tending to ourselves
And we give into this instinct all the time, no matter what the consequences and often to our own detriment. Some would call it compromise. But when does making sacrifices for the ones you love become sacrificing yourself? There is a fine line.
My mother crossed that line. She sacrificed herself...
...her own happiness and health in her noble and hard attempts to make sure that her family was okay, no matter how they treated her in return. She lived a very unhappy life, despite her ability to always make others happy.
When people ask me what killed her I can honestly say that an overdose of unhappiness laced with severe amounts of stress is what did it. My mom never got round to taking time to give to herself; time to relax and reflect; time to heal.
She gave it all away and had nothing left to give back
And it's through stepping back and looking at her life that I have figured out who the woman I want to be is: the woman who values herself as well as those around her.
The woman who acknowledges her luck and is grateful for who and what she has in her life; but at the same time does not forget that she has what she has because of the person she is.
The woman who takes time to reflect on herself and her achievements. The woman who will not apologise to anyone, even her family, for who she is.
The woman who will not change her views and values to accommodate others, but rather be open to adapting to the situation.
The woman who looks after herself so that she can look after others. The woman who does not judge, but may disagree. The woman my mother taught me to be.
When I think back to her funeral I remember how touched I was at the huge turnout; with only a few hours' notice there were probably close on 70 people there. Some who knew her, some who never met her; some who had been in my life for five minutes and some who had been in it for years; some I hadn't seen for years and some I saw the day before; even some I had never met before.
It's moments like these that make you realise you are not alone in the world; that it's not all for nothing; that life has meaning; that there is an abundance of joy to be experienced.
What I learnt from my mother (her life and her death) is that I am a truly blessed human being
I am surrounded by wonderful people; people who love me, who care for me; people who want the best for me; people who accept me for the woman I am. We all have these people in our lives; they are there, just look for them.
It's because they love us for who we are that it's important to take care of ourselves; they will miss us when we're gone. Realise that, by taking care of you, you are still taking care of them. When you're happy, they're happy.
So go for that massage, take that yoga class, join the gym – look after yourself! Because it's you that they love because you love yourself. Be the woman your mother taught you to be; the woman who is loved and respected because she loves and respects herself.
08 May 2012
10:44:00
What is it about airports?
Being an actress I am trained to observe people, and the airport is one of my favourite places to people watch.
In the last three weeks I have spent a reasonable amount of time in Johannesburg's O.R Thambo International Airport, not because I've been travelling a lot but because my husband has.
Every visit to the airport fills me with a myriad of emotions
It all starts in the departures terminal. The excitement of a new adventure. The nerves of a first-time flier. The emotion of a businessman on his way home to his family after a long time of being away.
The students who have saved up for their back-packing trip around Europe or Thailand; the high school exchange students off on the experience of a new culture; ordinary people on their way to visit family in different parts of the world - everyone has a story and if you watch closely you can see their story.
You can always tell the seasoned travellers from the the first timers
Those who have done this before are dressed comfortably, usually in gym pants or jeans and trainers; those who are overwhelmed by the excitement of first time international air travel are often those in the mini skirts and stilettos, dressed in their Sunday best.
But my favourite part is the international arrivals terminal
Since I usually arrive early enough to make sure I don't miss my husband coming out, I sometimes have had to endure a long wait while watching the board waiting for it to change from “expected” to “landed” next to his flight; this is when I experience the most joy in watching people. Richard Curtis really hit the nail on the head in the opening scene of his film Love Actually that takes place in the international arrivals hall of Heathrow airport.
Everyone is anxiously awaiting the return of their loved one and have arrived with the most wonderful ways of welcoming them home.
From a big banner that says “Welcome Home! We Missed You!” held up by two porters while the man waiting for his people to come through the glass doors holds a video camera to capture their faces as they see the banner; to a tiny little girl nearly taking me off my feet as she runs out of nowhere shouting “Daddy!” when she spots him coming through; to me, the wife who has been separated from her husband for three weeks who practically knocks an entire air crew off their feet while running to dive into his arms as he walks through the doors.
Airports are such happy places!
And have come to mean so much in a world where families are spread all over the globe. I remember a time when going to the airport was an outing because it happened so infrequently. Nowdays with air travel being so much more available and neccessary, the airport is as much a part of our lives as the supermarket.
There are so many stories being told at any one time - it's like a live broadcast of a reality satellite TV bouquet. All you have to do is stop and look around you. Observe and the stories will tell themselves. So next time you're hanging around an airport, for whatever reason, take a moment to share in all the life that is going on around you.
Happy travels!
04 May 2012
13:30:00
Product of the week: Ruby Kisses Eyeshadow Magic
Always find your eyeshadow creasing by lunchtime? Then this week's product of the week is for you!
This may sound like yet another gimmicky product that you don't need, but an eyeshadow primer could be one of the best cosmetics for you to invest in if you're sick of having to touch up your eye makeup throughout the day.
Ruby Kisses' eyeshadow primer comes in a tube with a doe-foot sponge applicator, and I find that just a tiny swipe across my eyelids spreads quite far. This provides a great base for eyeshadow, which seems to have a better colour as well when applied to a primed eyelid.
The result is a perfectly shaded eyelid that can go for hours without creasing. Well worth the R79,95 you'll pay for the product!
You'll find Ruby Kisses at Foschini stores - the whole range is very reasonably priced and worth checking out.
The next item on my agenda is to find a product that will keep my eyeliner from ending up underneath my eyes - if anyone has any suggestions please point me in the right direction!
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Thursday
 Sunny
18-4°C
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Friday
Sunny
18-4°C
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Saturday
Sunny
19-5°C
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