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Dealing with disappointment

17 October, 2011 08:13:00 Karen Engelbrecht

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Karen Engelbrecht offers a five step plan for dealing with disappointment in our lives...

Last weekend was not a happy one for South African sports fans. The Bokke crashed out of the Rugby World Cup and our national soccer team did not manage to qualify for the 2012 African Cup of Nations.

Some of us screamed and kick the nearest chair, others simply threw their hands in the air and point-blank refused to discuss the matter further.

This, dear reader, is what disappointment feels like and all of us experiences it at some stage in our life.

Your five-step plan to deal with disappointment

You might be able to deal with the aftermath of a sport disappointment by means of a beer or a braai, but it’s a completely different ball game when it comes to bigger disappointments in life – failed relationships, unsuccessful job applications or being let down by a friend for instance.

These are not as easy to deal with and will require a little more from you to prevent the disappointment from casting a shadow over your life.

1. Take time out to be angry, sad or hurt

If you feel like you need to lock yourself in a small room and scream until you lose your voice, do it. If you’re having a hard time fighting the tears, give in. Bottling up your emotions won’t do you any good and won’t allow you to process your disappointment properly.

2. Put your disappointment into perspective

When you’ve let it all out, it’s time to take three deep breaths and a step back. Look at the bigger picture – is this really the end of the world as you know it? It’s probably not. Ask yourself how big of an impact this disappointment will have on your life in a week, a month or a year. If the answer is ‘insignificant’, it’s not worth obsessing over.

3. Regroup and reassess the situation

The disappointment you suffered might not have been the direct result of something you did or didn’t do, but it will still be worth your while to look at what you could have done better or differently in order to avoid disappointment in future.

Say, for instance, you didn’t get the job you wanted...

Were you properly prepared for the interview? If not, prepare answers to the most popular interview questions before you’re invited to the next one.

If you were passed over for a promotion, did you perhaps neglect to take advantage of opportunities to show what you’re made of? If this is the case, volunteer for more projects in the future.

4. Look for the proverbial silver lining

Were you dumped by your boyfriend? Well, guess what – now the entire bed belongs to you, you can eat ice cream for dinner if you want to and you don’t have to beg someone to pick up his socks anymore.

Finding these positives won’t necessarily make the disappointment go away, but it will help soften the blow.

5. Keep on going

You probably know the saying ‘winners never quit and quitters never win’. It’s corny, and you most likely hate smug successful people who say this to you, but it’s true. You always have to keep on going. It’s the only way to succeed and to reach your dreams.

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Author info: Karen Engelbrecht

Two years into studying marketing, Karen realised her mistake and went on to AAA to study copywriting. Today she is a copywriter and editor, and loves nothing better than stringing words together. Other likes include exploring new things and places, Saturday markets, quality time with friends and family, reading, moving to good music, supporting the underdog and lots of ice cream.

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