How to let someone down gently

How to let someone down gently

Photo ©: © Yuri Arcurs - Fotolia.com


You have some bad news to deliver and you're dreading it. Here's some advice on how to let someone down gently...

Whether you are breaking up with your latest boyfriend and ending the relationship you thought would last forever, or passing on a difficult message, the task of letting someone down gently isn’t one relished by anyone.

Below are some tips that will help you the next time you find yourself in between a rock and a hard place.

Honesty is always the best policy

Though your words may not be well received, you will most likely be respected for your honesty later on.

Difficult messages always come with unpleasant words and they are never easy to say. Beating around the bush will only make the situation more difficult and prolong the entire process.

This doesn’t mean you should be harsh

Use gentle words that still get the right message across. Should this fail, you may find a more direct approach is necessary.

If you are breaking up with someone, simply tell them why

Skip the common general explanations people often use to place blame on themselves in an effort to make the other person feel better. Hearing “it’s me, it isn’t you” is worse than hearing “I’m just not happy in this relationship.”

Use as few words as possible while saying all that needs to be said

No one wants to prolong an unpleasant situation. The best way to avoid this is to simply state what you need to say, give the person a chance to respond, and be done with it. Don’t fill up the conversation with words that only serve as a stall tactic.

Be sympathetic

Everyone is let down at one time or another and it isn’t always gently. Remember you’ve been there too. This will help you feel for the other person and you may find the words easier to say.

Try to put yourself in the other person’s situation

Think of how you might feel if you were on the receiving end of the conversation. This goes hand in hand with being sympathetic. It may be easier to deliver your message if you take the time to do this.

Choose your words carefully

What you say really does stick and it always matters. The person you are talking to will likely remember them long after they have been said so take care to say what you really mean in a nice manner.

Letting someone down gently is never a pleasant task. No matter the specifics, it’s all about finding the right words to say. The next time you are in a difficult situation, consider the tips above to make it just a little easier.

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