How to deal with an insecure person

Insecurity can be a big problem for many people – in particular for those who suffer from it, but often equally or more for their friends and family. Hopefully this article can help you deal with and/or help that special insecure person in your life.

1. Understand the issue

Understand the issue. Insecurity stems from many sources. Even though the issue may seem obvious, insecurity can be based on hidden problems.  This could be insecurities regarding previous relationships, unseen medical problems, or mental disabilities. Insecurity is a complex problem that is not always easily fixed. If you understand that insecurity can be a serious problem, you will be better able to empathize with insecure people.

2. Learn the difference

Learn the difference between genuine insecurity and faked insecurity. Insecurity can be faked in order to attract attention or sympathy, or to manipulate people, so watch out for those who are not genuinely insecure. Most insecure people are, however, genuine, and suffer from insecurities generating from anything from a troubled past to present abuse.

While you may think someone is faking insecurity for attention, they may have deep-seated mental or emotional problems of which you are not aware. Try not to assume that someone is faking insecurity just because you can see no obvious flaws in their life.

3. Be kind and unobtrusive when dealing with an insecure person

Sometimes you may get fed up or impatient with someone who is chronically insecure. This, however, is of little help and will only serve to fuel the fire.

4. Do what you can to help them

Genuine care and concern for an insecure person can help them feel more secure about themselves. Encourage them to discuss their problems with you. Be kind and patient - many insecure people are shy, nervous, uncommunicative, or lacking in self esteem.

Consider trying to get to know an insecure person better, and, if possible, include them in your social activities.

5. Protect yourself from manipulation

You might find it emotionally and mentally draining to support an insecure person. Remember that you have needs too. Sometimes you might need to distance yourself from an insecure person to prevent them impacting negatively on your strength and emotional wellbeing. You will be of no use to them if you are feeling insecure or abused yourself. Make sure your relationship with the insecure person is healthy, and do not allow their needs to override your own.

A serious problem?

Sometimes, insecurity can be a symptom or a front for a serious problem. If you think this might be the case, try to persuade an insecure person to seek help from a professional therapist.

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki building the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to deal with an insecure person. Content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons License.

Email: