Help! I can’t find my G-spot!

Yes, I know. You think that finding your G-spot is as likely as a hot Hollywood celeb phoning you for a date. Or your boss rewarding your hard work at the office with a pay rise…

The truth is that you can have more luck with your G-spot, but there is some good news and some bad news

The good news is the G-spot is a part of your anatomy that actually exists

The bad news is…everyone is different and you may not be able to orgasm from massaging yours. Many women need other types of stimulation simultaneously to tip them over the edge – which, let’s face it, is still pretty great!

Plenty of women have located their G-spot and swear they experience a deeper, ‘whole body’ orgasm from massaging it, while some are even able to ejaculate a clear fluid (known as female ejaculation) in response.

Others say it is pleasurable but not a source of orgasm for them, while some find massaging the area is too intense or even annoying. Also, it may only respond at certain times of the month.

Many sex experts doubt that women can orgasm purely from G-spot stimulation

We’re all unique and it’s perfectly fine if you fall into one of the latter groups. In fact, many sex experts doubt that women can orgasm purely from G-spot stimulation and say there is no ‘magic button’ in the vagina that you can simply press for an intense orgasm. Instead, they finger the clitoris as the main orgasmic instigator.

But with all the hype around the G-spot and the countless women who rave about the sensation, there’s no harm in giving the spot a nudge…just because we can. So what we need to know is where it is, how to reach it, and what kinds of stimulation might just rev that divine motor.

Where is the magical G-spot?

It’s not actually inside the vagina but it can be felt through the wall of the vagina. This means that you need to use firm – not light – massaging strokes.

The G-spot is the urethral sponge, which is wrapped around the urethra (through which our urine passes). The urethral sponge is a cushion of spongy tissue rich in blood vessels and nerve endings, which is why it is an erogenous zone for many women. It also has glands producing fluids.

The gynaecologist Ernst Grafenberg identified this spongy tissue as the source of female erotic pleasure in the 1940s and 1950s, and the term ‘G-spot’ was coined in his honour in 1982.

When women are aroused, the urethral sponge fills with blood and its glands fill with fluid, causing the sponge to swell and become firmer. This is why the G-spot is easier to find once we are aroused. It can be felt as a raised area – either an oval shape or a ridge – on the front wall of the vagina (on the belly button side) about one third to one half of the way in the vagina, just above the pubic bone.

Stimulation of the urethral sponge and of the entire front wall of the vagina is highly pleasurable for most women. The first third of the vagina (near the entrance) is the most sensitive as it contains most of the nerve endings, and hence it is the source of great pleasure.

How do I stimulate the G-spot?

The best tool for the job is…a finger or a curved vibrator (sorry, guys!). You could also try a sex position such as woman on top, penetration from behind while lying on your side or stomach, or any position that stimulates the front wall of your vagina. Shallow penetration is best.

If you’re going solo, there are various positions that make it easier: lie on your back with your knees pulled up and a pillow under your buttocks to tilt them; lie on your stomach; sit in a squatting position; or squat on all fours.

If you’re ready to locate your G-spot, here’s how:

•    Urinate before you begin. Massaging the urethral sponge may produce an urge to wee.
•    If you’re using fingers, clean and cut your nails short or pop a cut-off condom on. The longer middle finger is usually best. A curved G-spot vibrator   might be easier as it can reach further than a finger.
•    Take time to get aroused first. Add a dollop of a good water-based lubricant if you feel a bit dry.
•    Insert a curved finger or vibe about two inches into your vagina, angled towards the belly button. Just after the pubic bone you’ll feel a slightly protruding area that is rougher or a bit like a ridge.
•    If you can’t feel a distinct ridge, explore the area to find where it feels pleasurable.
•    Massage firmly as the G-spot doesn’t respond well to light pressure. Wriggle your fingers in a ‘come hither’ movement, pushing firmly and consistently to feel through the vaginal wall.
•    As you massage the spongy tissue, for about the first 10 seconds you’ll feel a need to urinate, but this should pass.
•    Try different pressures and motions, and use different types of stimulation such as massaging and vibrating to see what feels the most pleasurable.
•    Keep going – ongoing stimulation is usually well rewarded.

Once you’ve located your G-spot, there’s no orgasmic guarantee

We are all unique in the way we experience sexual intimacy and pleasure, so don’t set any sexual ‘goal posts’ concerning the G-spot. It’s perfectly okay to find it only mildly pleasurable – other types of stimulation may be more in tune with your sexual being. But by all means, give it a go!

If you enjoyed this article, please email it to your friends. For more on how to enhance your sex life and to sign up for OhZone’s sex tips newsletter, see www.ohzone.co.za.


Next week: Stimulating the clitoris to oh-oh-OH!

Competition: Win a naughty Valentine’s Day gift for you and your partner

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You can win a Little Paul vibrator

Click here to enter. Competition closes 5 February 2010 in order for prize to be delivered to the winner by 12 February.

Note: For reasons of confidentiality, the winner’s name shall not be announced.

About the author:
Lindsay Barnes writes for OhZone, a sex information website aimed at women, offering sex enhancing products and in-depth articles and hints on how to have a great sex life. Sign up for OhZone’s sex tips newsletter at www.ohzone.co.za.